Who is invited to rehearsal

These days, however, many couples shell out for the shindig themselves or ask both sets of parents to share the cost. Who's invited? Your dinner must include: all members of the wedding party and their spouses or dates ; parents of flower girls or ring bearers in the wedding, if the little ones are invited; all parents, stepparents and grandparents of the bride and groom, plus siblings who are not in the wedding party and their spouses or significant others ; and often the officiant and his or her spouse.

How formal should it be? The degree of formality is at the discretion of the hosts, but it should never exceed the formality of the actual wedding. Where do we have it? Strive to keep it simple.

Your immediate families, the bridal party including the parents of the flower girl and ring bearer , even if they're not in the wedding , any ceremony readers , and your officiant plus his or her spouse, if married should always be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Simply put: Anyone who will be at the wedding rehearsal should also be included in the celebration held after. Any married members of your bridal party should also be given the option of attending with his or her spouse. If space and budget allows, it's nice to give your entire bridal party the option of bringing a plus-one , even if they're not married or in a serious relationship.

This ensures that everyone who is at the rehearsal dinner knows someone, and that any plus-ones who are traveling to attend the wedding have something to do the evening before the big event. You may also want to invite both of your extended families, including grandparents, aunts and uncles, and close cousins, since the rehearsal dinner is a good opportunity for your families to get to know each other. If you're tying the knot in your hometown and have just a handful of out-of-town guests traveling for the big day, it's a thoughtful gesture to include them at this pre-wedding event.

Many rehearsal dinners are held at restaurants—perhaps a favorite date spot or someplace with a style of cuisine that has special meaning to the bride and groom. If Italy is the honeymoon destination, for example, an Italian restaurant would be fitting. A place that showcases local flavor, such as Kansas City barbecue, Chicago deep-dish pizza, or Maine lobster, is a good way to introduce guests to the area.

The rehearsal dinner is typically held the night before the wedding, directly after the ceremony run-through. Despite its name, however, it can be a lunch, or even a brunch, if you like; and its pace is often informal and leisurely. But if it is a dinner, keep in mind that the party should end somewhat early, to give everyone a chance to get plenty of rest before the big day. Traditionally, the groom's parents are the hosts of the rehearsal dinner, since the bride's family customarily pays for the wedding.

But given the more relaxed standards of modern times, other relatives, close friends, or even the couple themselves can plan and pay for the event. Whoever throws the party should definitely confer with the bride and groom to avoid any conflict with the theme, menu, or decorations of the wedding.

Only those who will actually take part in the rehearsal—the bride and groom, their parents, the officiant, the wedding party including any child attendants , and readers—plus their spouses or dates, need to be invited to the rehearsal itself and the festivities that follow. But the guest list for the dinner may be longer. You might want to include other family members such as grandparents and close friends, for example.

And many couples invite their out-of-town guests as well, making the dinner into a welcoming party. Written invitations are not required, but still it's a good idea to send them if more than just family will be attending; and the host should mail them right after the wedding invitations go out. The invitations are not as formal as those for a wedding but can reflect its tone.

Because it's typically the first time the bride and groom see most of their close friends and family together, the rehearsal dinner can feel like a reunion. For a more formal dinner, or one with a larger guest list, it helps to have a seating chart so people aren't at a loss about where to go when it's time for the meal to be served. Furthermore, some members of the two families may be meeting for the first time, and relatives may not be acquainted with everyone in the wedding party. Though you may have a vision for how you hope the evening will pan out, it's important to figure out who will join you for pre-wedding toasts before you start shopping for venues.

A rehearsal dinner can be as intimate or as grand as the host, typically the groom's parents , would like. If you're looking to throw a smaller affair, start by making a list of the individuals who will attend the ceremony rehearsal.

This group typically consists of your parents, siblings, wedding party, ushers, and officiant. Work out from there, starting with close relatives, and you may already hit your ideal, intimate number.

If you want to play the ultimate wedding weekend hostess, though, here are all of the wedding guest groups that should be on your radar for a rehearsal dinner invitation. We're talking about immediate and close, extended family. The rehearsal dinner is one of the best times for close family to mix and mingle before two families become one.