How can you be charming

Yes, city slickers, you do have time to be kind to your neighbors. A friendly nod and smile goes a long way and shows that you're not so wrapped up in your own world that you forget about the existence of other human beings. Even better, you'll begin to notice things about your commute or the new cute coworker that you would never have previously. Your Instagram feed will survive without your careful supervision for five minutes.

This rule especially applies to any situation that should command your entire attention—like if you're being confided in or someone asked for your advice on an issue. This person trusts your insights—don't blow it. As it turns out, your mother was right—saying please and thank you can get you a first class ticket into charm school.

Be appreciative of those actions that others do for your benefit because if karma doesn't get you first, those nice deeds will soon vanish from your world. The way you dress each day communicates a message. If you take the time to present yourself in a sharp way, with a careful attention to detail, others will perceive you as a conscientious and enigmatic presence.

On the other hand, if you're a sloppy, unassuming dresser, this communicates to others that you have low self-esteem, and would rather fade into the background. Command the room by dressing sharply, and soon others will buy into your charms. Before taking command of your wardrobe, take command of your mind. If you're not already practicing mindfulness, meditation can be a great way to achieve a heightened sense of self. While mindfulness boasts a myriad of different benefits, one of those most crucial to the journey through charm school is the ability to perceive and affect the emotions of those people around you.

Sending a warm smile to your friend who may be more down than usual is truly charming. Finding true happiness within your life can light up any room you walk into, and ultimately affect countless others along your daily escapades.

More often than not, people look to surround themselves with friends and allies who are positive and upbeat. Look on the brighter side of things—that's where the charming truly begins.

To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, click here to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter! Another key to likeability is to mirror the body language of the other person. When people are conversing and they begin to mirror one another, it is a signal that have a good rapport, says Schafer.

It is also a good way to test how the conversation is going — if you change your own position and the other person copies you, it is probably going well.

Anyone working in sales might want to use that moment to start their pitch. If you are looking to give your relationship with your new best friend some longevity, it might also be worth using something Schafer refers to as the Hansel and Gretel technique. A common mistake that many of us make is to overwhelm new people with too much information about ourselves, which can put them off. A quick flash of your eyebrows can send the right signals, just remember to smile too otherwise you might look weird Credit: Alamy.

There will be, however, situations where you will need to get someone to like you unnaturally fast. Another approach might be to use quid pro quo , where offering personal details of your own life usually results in reciprocation. If all else fails, simply spending time near someone can make him or her like you, even in extreme circumstances.

Schafer opens his book with an anecdote from the FBI about a foreign spy who was in American custody. Everyday Schafer sat in his cell quietly reading the newspaper until eventually fear gave way to curiosity and the spy wanted to start a conversation.

So next time you walk into a room filled with new faces, with a bit of effort it might be you that everybody wants to get to know. The tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming. Share using Email.

The popular quote "People won't remember what you said or did, they'll remember how you made them feel" rings true. Charming people do activities that give them pleasure, and this happiness only feeds their disposition. A good conversation involves more than just using your words. Research shows that people who talk with their hands are viewed as more warm, agreeable, and energetic , according to Forbes.

Not many people are drawn to others who only care about themselves. If someone else walks up while you're having a conversation, introduce the two people by name. Assume rapport. This simply means talking to a stranger or a newly met acquaintance in a very friendly manner, as if the person is a long lost friend or relative. This helps break down an initial awkwardness and speeds up the warm-up process when meeting new people. Soon, people feel more welcomed and comfortable around you.

This is a powerful tool during interaction. Talk about topics that interest the people you're with. If you're in a sporty crowd, talk about last night's game or the meteoric rise of a new team.

If you're with a group of hobbyists, ask about their hobbies and make pertinent remarks related to fishing , knitting, mountain climbing, movies, and so on.

Nobody expects you to be an expert. Sometimes you can build rapport just by asking questions, and not caring if you seem naive. There are people who like talking about and explaining their interests, and will like you for listening. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you're hoping to learn more about it.

Share information about yourself. Being quiet about yourself makes you seem standoffish. Sharing as much about yourself as you ask others to share is a way to build trust with other people.

They'll feel special because you wanted to talk about your life with them, and before you know it you'll have new friends.

Method 2. Make eye contact. Looking at people directly in the eyes gives you a certain hold over them. It projects confidence on your end while making the person you're speaking with feel that they are interesting enough to gaze upon. Keep eye contact throughout the conversation.

Smile with your eyes. Scientists have pinpointed more than 50 types of smiles, and research suggests that the sincerest smile of all is the Duchenne smile - a smile that pushes up into the eyes. Also, if you look at someone and then smile, it will instantly charm them. Give a firm handshake. Shaking a person's hand when you first meet them is a polite way to show the person they're someone you want to talk to.

Use a firm grip, but don't hold on too tight - you don't want to hurt the person's hand. After one good shake, release the person's hand from your grip.

A kiss on both cheeks, a bow, or another physical gesture gets the conversation off to a good start. Use charming body language. Face the person you're talking to so that it doesn't seem as though you're anxious to walk away as soon as the conversation is over.

During the course of the conversation, it may be appropriate to use light touching to keep it moving. You can lightly touch the person's shoulder to emphasize a point, for example.

At the end of the conversation, decide whether it's appropriate to give a quick hug or another handshake.

Control your tone and speed of voice. Your voice should be gentle and peaceful, yet direct. Don't talk too fast as this makes you appear nervous, but if you talk too slow people could think you are unintelligent, you need to speak slow enough that your words are clear but not slow that it feels like the conversation is dragging on.

Articulate your words clearly and project your voice. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does your voice sound sincere?

Method 3. Use impressive phrasing. Be mature and use a touch of wise, polite language.